QUERY FOR BOBBIE The man I've been dating for the last two years is married. I've told him I don't want to spend my life as a mistress, but every time I bring up his getting a divorce, he has a new excuse about why the timing is bad. What can I do to help him move on? Waiting In Berkeley	ADVICE FOR WAITING Perhaps you're the one that needs to move on. This man has the best of both worlds and you could wait two more years, but I would wager you'd still be a loser. Get out before any more damage is done, to you or his wife. Your excuse will be that the timing is bad for an affair. Sincerely dump him, Bobbie
QUERY FOR BOBBIE I do the nice things I hear women want. Flowers, cards, romantic meals and help around the house. I'm affectionate and I listen. No matter how much I do my wife wants more. More things, more gifts and more money. I hear about what her girlfriends' husbands buy them. I'm working two jobs to make ends meet. I try to make her happy, but am I missing something here? Bone-Tired	ADVICE FOR TIRED You are missing an appreciative wife. Love is not about expensive gifts. Romance is not about money. Explain your feelings and finances to your wife.If she continues to be ungrateful, head straight to counseling. If she won't go with you, you'll know there is no amount of money or gifts that will ever satisfy this selfish creature. Waking Up, Bobbie
QUERY FOR BOBBIE I am twelve years old. I started dating my first boyfriend two months ago. At the school dance last weekend, he kept dancing with other girls and I even caught him holding hands with one. I think he's cheating on me. Should I dump him and find a new boyfriend? Hurting Heart	ADVICE FOR HEART You will not like my answer. You are too young to be "dating" anyone. This is the time to have boys as friends. Go places and do things with a group. Wait to date. In the long run you'll be happier and have more fun. Discuss your feelings with your parents and figure out what would be an appropriate age to start dating. Enjoy the now, becoming an adult will happen too soon and you'll wish you were twelve again. Remembering twelve, Bobbie